Wednesday, November 28, 2007

recurring dream

I almost never dream. Well, that's not entirely accurate. I'm sure I do, I'm just too asleep to remember any of them. Unless they're bad. And I don't have a lot of nightmares either.

But recently, I've had several nightmares about work. Which doesn't make any sense, because I'm not stressed at all. I mean, last week, my service was down to zero patients. ZERO. So why I'd be having nightmares now about work is baffling.

The first one I remember vividly -- also uncharacteristic. I was in the OR at our main hospital and we were doing some routine general surgery case laparoscopically. Except they wanted me to use the da Vinci robot, which I have only seen being used from across the room. I sat down at the unit and tried to manipulate the instruments that were in the patinet's insufflated abdomen, but it wouldn't work. They wouldn't move. The attendings in the room were lauging at me and then they got frustrated that I couldn't do the operation and took over, all the while making comments about how incompetent I was. Then I woke up.

I then had the same dream twice. I don't remember what happened, but I know it was something similar that happened because I felt the same way. I hope this all gets worked out soon, whatever it is. This fluffy psychiatry stuff is all very frustrating...


Anonymous said...

I love your blog already -- thank you for taking the time and effort of writing it!

make mine trauma said...

My recurring dream is always about contaminating the sterile field. I contaminate my gloves so I pull them off and grab and second pair, lay them on my back table and reglove only to realize that I've just not only contaminated the new gloves but now my back table as well. And so the process repeats, over and over until I have completely contaminated everything and everyone in the room. I always wake up exhausted.